A Tribute To My Granddaughter Honohara Ashvini Uttarajivi (Honajivi)

This is a topic I have been putting off for quite some time but I can no longer put it off. On the 22nd of July at 5 pm my cat started the pre labor stages which meant that I was going to be a grandmother sometime in the night. She had her children at 9:30 pm after a quick 1 hour labor. The first baby (Baccha) passed away 5 minutes after he was born, it was heartbreaking because he was moving about but I have to admit that he was a runt so he never did have any chances

The other 3 were healthy wrigglers but there was something disturbingly wrong, Diana(mother) was unable to feed them but was giving her 100% in trying to get them to eat. It was a really stressful night for both  me and my mister, we were hoping that something would turn around the sad situation, I had lost complete hope and had given up but my darling refused to let me give up (Thank you ^_^) But sadly at 6 am (24th July) we discovered that Miss WiggleBottoms and Patches passed away leaving only one survivor. I quite honestly could not process the news at all and simply sat there dumb but my mister was hit so terribly by the tragedy . By then we were at our lowest point and then suddenly the survivor gave out a mighty roar reminding us that she was still there with us, my attempt at bottle feeding her was a success and we were all hopeful once more.

Diana was frantic though because she did not like the idea of me being a surrogate mother but I had no choice. Sleeping was the biggest problem because baby cats lose heat faster than the speed of light and even with the room insulated and fan switched off she was still losing heat so I decided to leave the child with her mother while I took a nap. I guess the sheer stress made me oversleep and as I woke up I was sure that I was going to be heartbroken but I was so happily wrong. She was still kicking about, cold but lively. The mister gave her the perfect name, a name even I could not compete with “Honahara Ashvini Uttarajivi”, Honajivi for short which roughly translates to Hopeful survivor. My best friend who was the baby’s Godfather came over and we got her fed and sleeping. To make sure that she was safe and warm, I kept her inside my fanny pack. Everything seemed to be going well until last night at around midnight (25th July) when Honajivi refused to bottle feed which set off alarms in my system because if she did not feed she would die.

After an hour or so later she refused to sit inside the fanny pack which she was earlier in love with. By then my darling was in the worst funk and I was getting there We attempted real hard to get the baby to suck on its mothers tits but it was the biggest failure so we decided to let the mother sit with the child. Early morning the baby was still kicking about but still refusing food so I decided to sleep knowing what the outcome was going to be. I have had cats since I was born and seen kittens since I was 5 so the tell tale signs were too strong for me to ignore. At 3 pm when I woke up, i found the baby still alive and was so happy to be wrong so I decided to freshen up before attempting another try at bottle feeding but I guess it was never to be because when I came back I saw Diana eating up Honajivi (Mother cats eat their dead young to prevent predators from picking up the scent). At that point I knew that I had lost a battle that me, Diana and the mister were desperately fighting. I broke down frustrated and angry because even after doing all that I could she was taken away from me. Managing Diana was difficult for she kept searching for the baby calling for it, she would keep climbing on top of me and ask me about the baby. She even dug through the fanny pack hopeful that she might find her child there. I would like to be spiritual and talk about how the baby was saved from a lot of misery and trouble as surrogacy is harder on the child than the mother. But I can muster no energy to bullshit myself and only feel bad that I was not there when she was taking her last breath. Now I wait for my darling to come back so that  I can give him the sad news. All that I know is that the baby was loved by her mother, uncle, aunts, godfather, grandfather and her grandmother. My parents are yet to be told about the tragedy. So I say a teary goodbye to my beautiful grandchild one last time.

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