Humor when defined means something funny and is something that is found everywhere whether it is open or subtle. The really funny thing about humor is that it is always born at the price of someone/something. Think about it, your favorite shows are based on the pain suffered by someone else, a person’s stupidity, lots of stupid celebs, politicians or objects unfortunate enough to come in contact with a destructive force. Ever noticed how our favorite comedian bashes everything in sight??? (George Carlin in my case). The jokes shared by comedians are so humorous or sometimes horribly cliched but we all love the humor. But today we are not going to talk about comedians but rather talk about the humor we create when with our near and dear ones.
My best friend “R” and baby sister “S” seem to find me really humorous and have both suggested that I get into stand up comedy… I never considered myself funny let alone capable of making jokes. When I asked my darling whether I was funny, his response left me even more confused. He says that I am cute funny, funny ha ha and funny ho ho, as I was about to mouth words that every man dreads hearing from his woman (“What do you mean by that?”) He silenced me faster than Samurai X by saying “It is complicated but be rest assured that you are funny”. I do not remember my buddy “A” ever tell me that I was funny, maybe I will ask him later today. Sure I love making people laugh but it is mainly based on sub conscious reactions and making jokes that the other person would like to hear. I would like to inflate my head by saying that sometimes my humor is like that of George Carlin or Simon Cowell but I do not find the idea of Carlin/Cowell fans outside my door with pitchforks appealing.
Speaking of stand up comedy, I do not think I could ever manage that. Sure I would come up with a good routine, bitch real good but I am a hundred percent sure that I would be remembered not for my routine but for my heckler handing skills. I can see it now, as a heckler hoots his way to glory, suddenly he gets hit by the microphone. Experience would teach me then to carry empty beer bottles (don’t want to waste beer) or simply carry my cats…. Hmmm but I do not want to kill people or be called the crazy cat lady. So I guess it is best for the safety of others and my bank balance (lawsuits cost money) I stay away from stand up comedy and instead treat people I know with my cheap humor LOL
Back to the topic, today we will talk about the humor that is ever present with us. What I am referring to though is “hidden humor”, those out of the blue moments when something real funny happens. The unplanned sub conscious humor. It is time for you all to rack your brains and remember those moments as I write about a few of my own memories.
Some of these moments are completely unintentional, imagine a lovely Sunday morning as you are reading the newspaper while your sibling sits and does his own thing… Suddenly you hear a loud sound similar to a chair being moved noisily. You know what it was and upon looking at your sibling’s guilty face your dreaded assumptions confirmed. You attempt to hide that smirk and then lose control when you hear “It was not me, it was the furniture.”. If you want hidden humor at its best, watch your pets play with something or with its siblings. If you have a good imagination, you are in for a lot of fun. Your dog might demonstrate what would happen if you fell off a cliff by falling off the window sill (Don’t worry, they always fall on their feet on the couch). Your only wish is to see a flying squirrel??? Pit your cats together, after a brief warm up of air boxing their opponent, vocal exercises and jumps you will see them zipping across your room and then lo and behold watch in awe as your cat ever so easily wings its way from a 5 foot tall shelf 4 feet across the room and finally catches its opponent who shows you how to do a death roll (Crocodiles hold onto their prey’s neck and roll really fast until the creature dies) which obviously leaves the squirrel disgruntled and disoriented.
Some moments are ever so innocent but the inner bitch in all of us ruins the innocence by making the moment even more hilarious 
Me and a friend were getting some paperwork done and the dude was wearing a Tee made of synthetic materials. Our minds completely focused into getting our work done when suddenly it started drizzling which seemed to have stunted my friend’s rational thinking capability. To quote the infamous conversation :-
Boy: “This T-shirt is SEMI waterproof”
Girl : “No, it is NOT.. ”
Boy: ” But look how the water simply stays in the form of drops on the T-shirt”
Girl : “Which will get absorbed by the T-shirt soon and especially if you rub your hand over the T-shirt”
Boy : “oh… *Sheepish grin and awkward silence”…”
I remember another moment when me and “nameless” (you know who you are) were watching “Hell’s Kitchen” . And as the show got rowdier so did “nameless”. I have never seen some one get so ecstatic over Gordon Ramsay butchering some chef. My only comment ” Gordon Ramsay turns you on doesn’t he?”.
Some moments are so random and can be possible only between best of friends, recollecting a day when me and my friend were particularly sleep deprived. We look around my room and notice that the flies who should be busy on a plate with crumbs on it were instead roaming around on my bed in hopes of getting food which sparked a comment from me “heh, the flies are high.. They are searching for food on the wrong place”. When I am sleep deprived I usually have a real good sense of humor which comes with a wacky jig, lots of bitching, sound effects and good jokes.
Remember those times when you are sitting quietly when suddenly either you break into a giggle or some one near you starts giggling??? what do you do? Yep, you start giggling along before realizing that you have no idea why you are giggling… Or times when you suddenly break into song (off tune too) to the chagrin of others, it is amusing only to you because as you shatter glass with your banshee voice you notice the poor soul near you inching his way away from you or simply putting you on mute.
Modern times deserve modern humor. Don’t you all love it when some one writes something to you and the lovely sentence has a TYPO (spelling/grammatical mistake). A make believe error would be ” I am having the stuff transported by shit”.. Hmmmm I currently cannot recollect my wonderful typo sagas but will add it when I do remember. At other times as you are confessing your love to your darling, instead of getting a love you too you read a “gonna leave you too”… :O Men get butchered for that kind of bullshit everyday.
In short, you all can see from the above post that I have a really weird sense of humor and I know for a fact that most of you are reassured that you are not the only ones with a sense of humor like that of a slug. But know this, if you guys are gonna comment make sure to include a good joke because I am not going to approve any comments without a humorous moment. Yes, complainers… I am demanding. If anyone remembers any good moments that involved me, do let me know so that I can add it here in the post.
Clap
Yes, I have a man crush on Gordon Ramsey, which means your second in line when it comes to Gordon. Oh yes baby I want him oh yes oh yes j/k.
The reason you were nameless was to protect your dignity. But I see that you and Ramsay are ready to come out the closet…. Does he know by the way???
And you have 10 seconds to edit your damn comment and add a story or else say bye bye to Hell’s Kitchen
Hey phoenix,just for the record,I really do find you funny(sleep deprieved or not,either way,works for me!). Also i would love to know who the baby sis is!!
P.S. :do pick up your phone!!!!