I just finished watching the movie “A Moment To Remember”, a Korean movie about 27 year old losing her memory because of Alzheimer’s disease. The movie ever so sensitively shows how both she and her husband deal with the disease. I now sit dehydrated, spent and deeply melancholic thinking & trying to recollect every significant moment, person, animal and thing. In the movie a scene shows how the husband responds as his wife calls him by her ex lover’s name but when she realizes later of her mistake she writes to him a letter apologizing & assuring him of her love. This hit me the hardest because it reminded me of how I was robbed of a chance to tell D so many things, it reminded me of all the stupid fights either started by me or the opposite person, it reminded me about how mean I was to my darling though there was no need to and I remembered those whom I had forgotten.
How could I forget how unpredictable life is? Everyday I take step after step hoping, believing, fighting to be a person better than before not for me but for those I love because my goal is to see them happy; Then again there are days where there is a lot of chaos and it feels like you were asked to go to jail with no permission to pass Go and no permission to take your allowance by the same people you were fighting for, it feels as if nothing could alter that situation to make it better and it necessarily is not their fault. I write this today to remind myself and others that we are incredibly lucky to know who we are and be able to hold onto our loved ones. I do not expect anyone to read this and immediately write out apology letters, scream out “love yous” or hug their loved ones; I do hope that you will keep in mind to treat that person better the instant you see them again because you will not be given a second chance.
So to my family I apologize for the countless tantrums, tears, stress, chores and troubles. I love my family a lot no matter what kind of fights we get into or whatever rubbish we tell each other. I apologize to my friends for being reclusive and the consequences of my social awkwardness because I know how bitter I can get when I am left alone for too long. An apology to my darling for he bears the brunt of my every emotion and yet smiles without showing me his pain. My children need an apology too for I have tossed, groomed, bathed and annoyed them plenty but they always give me kisses, rubs and hickeys(Cleo). Then again whatever I apologized right now applies to everyone for in one way or another I have mentally disrupted your peace many times making you doubt, misunderstand or dislike me which I never ever intended. Whenever you see this post, I hope all of you realize how much I love you all and I never mean to hurt anyone always wishing for happiness. Me and my darling many a time ask each other how we can bear with each other, we simply realize and enjoy the fact that it is our love that makes it easier to accept. I can get troublesome at times but never mean any harm so I give all of you my warmest hugs and lots of love.
My only advice is that every time you get into a sticky situation, avoid being mean to your loved one after the fight, bite your tongue before a rude thought leaves your mouth and let time heal all wounds. If only all of us were empathetic about each other… Wouldn’t life have been much simpler? But make sure to be humble and grateful for being able to hold onto our loved ones for another day. You stop fearing loss when you are true to yourself and your loved ones, this is one preaching I want to practice.So here I end with another big hug a post that hopefully does not look like a rambling or a bad piece of literature lol
Clap
No way sis, this is certainly a far cry from a piece of bad literature or rambling(well, don’t we all do that?!). Lovely post, it reaches out to your heart, and makes you want to do just as you said. I know you’ll say that you aren’t the best of writers, but for me,one who can touch someone’s heart is a writer good enough!
Keep up the great work(:P) and yeah,a hug from me to you too, along with an apology for all the ranting I’ve done(sleepovers,remember?).
Rock On!!
Swamini